I've watched you my whole life, a gaze of curiosity with silent acceptance. Your cruel words and twisted ways keep me open to the truths of life. There's so much desire brewing inside of me, I want to tell you things but the time is never right, the world won't let me yet. I felt you inside of me today, digging through my skull, burrowing deep into my cerebellum. It made me pause, stretch my head to the stars, and take a deep breath. I hold my tongue for the sake of your virtues, as few as they might be. One day i'll be left with fumes of hope--this is not a renewable resource.

I am worried that the right time will be the wrong place, I am worried there will be no one left for me to beg for forgiveness. I am afraid that both of me will one day agree on a solution, and i'll follow through.

A bad place.

It'll pass, all I need is a bit more sedation.

friends make you weak

moving between seconds, I find my place.
I stand and watch.

just beyond the street lamp glow,
sound silenced by the steady buzz.

That's me. Watching.

It's pouring, but I am not wet.

for what it's worth, I'd do it again.

everyday I make sure I write down what I feel, not about anything in particular, but the day in general.

consumed

is my word of the day

by

heat
people
things
ideas
beliefs

i set sail for home
every afternoon.

drowning in this air,
i feel as if the day has devoured me,
consumed me,
every last part.

back in time to lay down,
to wake up,
to start again.