Under water

2 min read

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lowko's avatar
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I ... I don't even know what to write, to say.  I've started this a thousand times.  Weeks spent choked up on symbols that only I will ever see, meanings and feelings that I endlessly fail to convey.

My sadness is not specific.  I enjoy being alive, but I hate life.  It's so endlessly cruel.  If evil was a thing, life would be it.  Torturous and sadistic.  I've seen the broad strokes, now I suffer finishing touches.  It's even more painful to get to know people, their families, and then watch them die.

The worst part is not being exempt.  Their death, it's you, it's me, it's everyone you love.  Someday, somewhere, somehow.  All that you and I and they ever were, blown away like whispers in the wind.  And that's just for the fortunate, those who had the chance to be or have anything at all.

I dug myself out of the ground, out of a grave, for this.  I breathed dirt and wore my hands down to blood and bone.  I fought and killed, overcame.  Yet it stays with me, my darkness.  Always there.

Tomorrow is another day.  Keep breathing.
© 2016 - 2024 lowko
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